It's that time of year again. Glittering ballgowns and ironed tuxedos. Overly sexualized dress codes in some states, over priced corsages, and billions of teenage dollars collected by the prom industry. Congratulations seniors prom has finally arrived. So prom is tomorrow. (Today by the time you read this) If I weren't so painfully camera shy I would've filmed a story time youtube video and get ready with me vlog. Here's the written equivalent, use your imagination.
As a little girl the media idolized the idea of prom. It was the peak of the high school experience. For one night you could wear a Cinderella ballgown and slow dance with someone who you are absolutely sure would be the love of your life under a strategically placed spotlight. You and your friends would ride a limo and be kings and queens for an evening. Everything would be perfect. This was not how things went for me. I was much happier tossing those expectations out the window. (Then again zero expectations increases happiness anyway)
During my junior year I was invited by one of my senior friends (We'll call her Syble). At my school seniors were allowed to have an underclassman +1 and it was usually a junior. I was ecstatic to be a part of this experience that my younger self had put on such a pedestal but I didn't let it get to my head. This magical night was not specifically for me. It was Syble's night. I invited her to my house for a "five star dinner" i.e. pizza, soda, and me making jokes about the meal being so high end and prestige. My other senior friend (we'll call him Dave) didn't have a date to prom so I told him to join our "five star dinner". I'd like to think I scored two prom dates. One of each sex. (The more than two genders conversation is a whole other topic I'll probably make an actual video about)
Me being a crafter and costume designer I made matching white corsages for us. I wasn't able to make a boutonniere for Dave since I had absolutely no idea how. The day of prom finally arrived. I did my own make-up and to this day still can't replicate the exact eye shadow blending job from the night. (This frustrates me to no end) I wore a black and green ballgown that I already had. The theme was under the sea. Syble and Dave arrived at separate times. Syble got her hair and makeup done at a salon then put on her dress at my place. Dave wore some of his dad's clothes and put gel in his hair. They were both glowing. We sat down at the table, I broke out the fancy napkins, which are just white napkins with subtle 3D seashell prints. We took pictures in the backyard and then I believe it was Syble's mom that dropped us off at the aquarium. We met up with some other friends. One of which later became my co-worker during my college years. We wandered around and took pictures then when night fell we were dancing with the fishies. I encouraged Dave to dance with one of the girls he really liked. She happily agreed to dance with him and my heart was filled with joy when their faces lit up. My friends were happy, I was happy knowing they were happy, it was grand. On facebook our families commented on how beautiful we looked.
During my senior prom my expectations went up. It was my night this time. Younger me had been waiting an eternity for this. Younger me never expected that I would lose my dad, suffer multiple heartbreaks and one abusive relationship, or retire Thai dancing beforehand. After months of healing I was up on my feet again and learning to be "confidently awkward". Instead of fearing awkwardness I embraced the idea that my attempts at social interaction were not as smooth as butter but that was a part of me that would separate me from a computer copied clone.
I inevitably pursued love again but in a surprising turn of events the man I was chasing after, was exclusively chasing after men. I don't know what kind of witchcraft teenage me used but I somehow convinced him to go to prom with me as a date. The universe didn't approve so he ended up going on a family trip to another state during the weekend of prom. A friend who is like a brother to me (we'll call him Stephen) sighed and said "you know, I kinda wanted to go to prom." I had already purchased the ticket so without hesitation I made him one of my dates. The other date was my sisterly best friend (we'll call her Persephone) Due to the unexpected early termination of her relationship she was not able to extravagantly ask her boyfriend to prom so I elaborately asked her and once again made matching white corsages.
Persephone and I made blue prom dresses. I was able to obtain a pair of 8 inch platform heels because the aforementioned man I was hopelessly in love with was 6'2". Stephen felt awkward being shorter than me especially during slow dancing when I made a point to prove that I dance like "the man". I mentioned retiring Thai dancing earlier because I cut my hair like Mulan did. (Minus doing it with a sowrd) Cutting my hair boyshort was symbolic of ending my years as a Thai dancer (my mom retired teaching the art) and also accepting and understanding my genderfluid identity. Along with experiencing extremely short hair for the first time. For me it was a drastic change and boosted my confidence. I didn't have hair to hide behind anymore.
Stephen's mom drove us to prom. She made us blue corsages and called us princesses. We went out to eat at an Italian restaurant. I was fortunate enough to have won a raffle drawing for a free meal for two at this place. Stephen's mom ended up paying for the meal before I could whip out the free meal certificates. This was due to cultural reasons outside my understanding. After dinner we headed to the zoo. "Because our class is a bunch of animals." I joked.
Persephone and I were the first and only ones on the dance floor. In that moment I felt the imaginary spotlight and the euphoria that teen drama movies try to portray during the climactic prom scene. I felt us drifting into our own world. The music pounding from the giant speakers and resonating into my soul. Eventually we went outside and met up with some of my other friends. For the next hour we banged our hands on an outside table which made a cup bounce. Whoever the cup landed closest to had to answer a truth or dare question. This was significantly more fun then being trapped in the mosh pit that formed out of nowhere. The feeling of euphoria struck me and I didn't want the night to end.
Prom wasn't what I expected it to be but because of that I loved it even more.
So the lesson I want to pass on to the next generations is this; avoid having expectations and cherish moments with your friends. If you don't have a date or don't go with the person you expected you would go with it doesn't matter. You'll still have fun and in your life time there will be more memorable nights to come.
As I mentioned in the very beginning prom is happening again. Ciycay pulled some strings and I am blessed to have a chance to relive the magic but this time with a romantic partner. I made our corsage and boutonniere with leftover peacock feathers from my previous projects. This past week while attempting to open up to my mom I have faced a clash of culture and the inevitable generation gap. I have been repeatedly asked why I made the corsage and boutonniere. "The guy is supposed to buy it for the girl." More often than not it was always the male that asked the female to homecoming or prom. I say those days are over. Males can ask males to prom and females can ask females to prom. Females can take over a majority of the tasks needed to prepare for prom if they want to. Corsages can be made at home and you can save your $50+ and spend it on dinner or gas money instead. You could even make dinner with your partner as opposed to going out if you want to. My point is I completely disagree with the old fashioned gender roles relating to prom and the pressure that comes with all the preparing should not be assigned to one sex. *drops mic*
with that said have a great prom seniors and +1s.
-Just Jane
"I think prom is just about enjoying yourself."
-Victoria Justice
As a little girl the media idolized the idea of prom. It was the peak of the high school experience. For one night you could wear a Cinderella ballgown and slow dance with someone who you are absolutely sure would be the love of your life under a strategically placed spotlight. You and your friends would ride a limo and be kings and queens for an evening. Everything would be perfect. This was not how things went for me. I was much happier tossing those expectations out the window. (Then again zero expectations increases happiness anyway)
During my junior year I was invited by one of my senior friends (We'll call her Syble). At my school seniors were allowed to have an underclassman +1 and it was usually a junior. I was ecstatic to be a part of this experience that my younger self had put on such a pedestal but I didn't let it get to my head. This magical night was not specifically for me. It was Syble's night. I invited her to my house for a "five star dinner" i.e. pizza, soda, and me making jokes about the meal being so high end and prestige. My other senior friend (we'll call him Dave) didn't have a date to prom so I told him to join our "five star dinner". I'd like to think I scored two prom dates. One of each sex. (The more than two genders conversation is a whole other topic I'll probably make an actual video about)
Me being a crafter and costume designer I made matching white corsages for us. I wasn't able to make a boutonniere for Dave since I had absolutely no idea how. The day of prom finally arrived. I did my own make-up and to this day still can't replicate the exact eye shadow blending job from the night. (This frustrates me to no end) I wore a black and green ballgown that I already had. The theme was under the sea. Syble and Dave arrived at separate times. Syble got her hair and makeup done at a salon then put on her dress at my place. Dave wore some of his dad's clothes and put gel in his hair. They were both glowing. We sat down at the table, I broke out the fancy napkins, which are just white napkins with subtle 3D seashell prints. We took pictures in the backyard and then I believe it was Syble's mom that dropped us off at the aquarium. We met up with some other friends. One of which later became my co-worker during my college years. We wandered around and took pictures then when night fell we were dancing with the fishies. I encouraged Dave to dance with one of the girls he really liked. She happily agreed to dance with him and my heart was filled with joy when their faces lit up. My friends were happy, I was happy knowing they were happy, it was grand. On facebook our families commented on how beautiful we looked.
During my senior prom my expectations went up. It was my night this time. Younger me had been waiting an eternity for this. Younger me never expected that I would lose my dad, suffer multiple heartbreaks and one abusive relationship, or retire Thai dancing beforehand. After months of healing I was up on my feet again and learning to be "confidently awkward". Instead of fearing awkwardness I embraced the idea that my attempts at social interaction were not as smooth as butter but that was a part of me that would separate me from a computer copied clone.
I inevitably pursued love again but in a surprising turn of events the man I was chasing after, was exclusively chasing after men. I don't know what kind of witchcraft teenage me used but I somehow convinced him to go to prom with me as a date. The universe didn't approve so he ended up going on a family trip to another state during the weekend of prom. A friend who is like a brother to me (we'll call him Stephen) sighed and said "you know, I kinda wanted to go to prom." I had already purchased the ticket so without hesitation I made him one of my dates. The other date was my sisterly best friend (we'll call her Persephone) Due to the unexpected early termination of her relationship she was not able to extravagantly ask her boyfriend to prom so I elaborately asked her and once again made matching white corsages.
Persephone and I made blue prom dresses. I was able to obtain a pair of 8 inch platform heels because the aforementioned man I was hopelessly in love with was 6'2". Stephen felt awkward being shorter than me especially during slow dancing when I made a point to prove that I dance like "the man". I mentioned retiring Thai dancing earlier because I cut my hair like Mulan did. (Minus doing it with a sowrd) Cutting my hair boyshort was symbolic of ending my years as a Thai dancer (my mom retired teaching the art) and also accepting and understanding my genderfluid identity. Along with experiencing extremely short hair for the first time. For me it was a drastic change and boosted my confidence. I didn't have hair to hide behind anymore.
Stephen's mom drove us to prom. She made us blue corsages and called us princesses. We went out to eat at an Italian restaurant. I was fortunate enough to have won a raffle drawing for a free meal for two at this place. Stephen's mom ended up paying for the meal before I could whip out the free meal certificates. This was due to cultural reasons outside my understanding. After dinner we headed to the zoo. "Because our class is a bunch of animals." I joked.
Persephone and I were the first and only ones on the dance floor. In that moment I felt the imaginary spotlight and the euphoria that teen drama movies try to portray during the climactic prom scene. I felt us drifting into our own world. The music pounding from the giant speakers and resonating into my soul. Eventually we went outside and met up with some of my other friends. For the next hour we banged our hands on an outside table which made a cup bounce. Whoever the cup landed closest to had to answer a truth or dare question. This was significantly more fun then being trapped in the mosh pit that formed out of nowhere. The feeling of euphoria struck me and I didn't want the night to end.
Prom wasn't what I expected it to be but because of that I loved it even more.
So the lesson I want to pass on to the next generations is this; avoid having expectations and cherish moments with your friends. If you don't have a date or don't go with the person you expected you would go with it doesn't matter. You'll still have fun and in your life time there will be more memorable nights to come.
As I mentioned in the very beginning prom is happening again. Ciycay pulled some strings and I am blessed to have a chance to relive the magic but this time with a romantic partner. I made our corsage and boutonniere with leftover peacock feathers from my previous projects. This past week while attempting to open up to my mom I have faced a clash of culture and the inevitable generation gap. I have been repeatedly asked why I made the corsage and boutonniere. "The guy is supposed to buy it for the girl." More often than not it was always the male that asked the female to homecoming or prom. I say those days are over. Males can ask males to prom and females can ask females to prom. Females can take over a majority of the tasks needed to prepare for prom if they want to. Corsages can be made at home and you can save your $50+ and spend it on dinner or gas money instead. You could even make dinner with your partner as opposed to going out if you want to. My point is I completely disagree with the old fashioned gender roles relating to prom and the pressure that comes with all the preparing should not be assigned to one sex. *drops mic*
with that said have a great prom seniors and +1s.
-Just Jane
"I think prom is just about enjoying yourself."
-Victoria Justice
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