What is this...

I've been reading a lot of manga by the amazing author Tooyama Ema lately and I began to realize the feeling of being able to draw freely should have come back to me. Years ago when I was a tiny little person with a large imagination I was able to draw romantic and dramatic scenes without caring about porportions. Eventually that ability withdrew itself from me and I give up on drawings too easily. No matter how many times I start over and tell myself "This artist isn't perfect but his/he works are popular" I end up trapped inside a metal cage of expectations that were built by me. No matter what happens I'm trapped inside that cage without a chance of escape. What is this? When did it start happening? Am I grasping my hopes too tightly? What's wrong with me?

-Just Jane